“Imagine
if a simple shift in words could make a huge difference in the outcome? “
Just recently I had a
chat with my leadership team and instructors in training at my martial art
school. Our topic was on the word “responsibility.” I asked many of the students what they
thought the word meant and a current
theme came up. They mentioned “Chores.” I found this interesting and I ran with
it.
Looking at the very
meaning of the word according to the dictionary may say a lot for how people
look at it. The word Chore as defined means
– noun – 1 - a small or odd job; routine task. 2.
The Chores, the everyday work around a house or farm. 3. a hard or unpleasant task:
Solving the problem was quite a chore.
If you notice most
words associated with the word chore mean something unpleasant or
negative. So why is it that we are not
getting our children to love doing their chores? It is quite simple – it appears to be
punishment. Even if we bribe them with reward, it is something boring, hard, or
annoying and unpleasant.
After speaking to my
students I asked what the word responsibility meant. You know what was really interesting, it was a word shift.
Most of my leadership kids and teens do chores. I said "the word of the
day, is responsibility." Then I asked "who does chores." Many of them raised their hands. Then I asked
"tell me some of your chores." They responded with amazing things.
Feed my puppy and make sure he has water, clean and feed my hamster, clean my
room, clear the table after dinner, go to bed on time, do my homework. Etc. I
asked are those chores or a responsibilities?
They replied with the answer “it is a chore.” I explained
further. If you didn't feed, your puppy or hamster or clean its cage what would
happen. They responded "they would get sick or die." If mom or dad or
both parents didn’t pay their bills and buy food and feed you, what would
happen? They laughed. I asked is it a chore for mom or dad, to do
all of those things. They all looked at
me as if I was crazy. You know why
because it is just a responsibility.
Quite frankly doing all of those things for my daughter never felt like
a chore. Although it was tough at times, I was still happy to have worked as
hard as I did. I asked “by having you do
what you are supposed to do, is it a chore or a responsibility?” When I explained it in that manner – they seemed
to have looked at it differently and responded it is a
"responsibility."
I used the word responded and responsibility in the same
sentence to prove a point. How we teach or shift a person’s perspective is all
about word association and how smart decisions are formed. I highly suggest
that we stop associating work with the word chore and replace it with the word responsibility. Making our children do chores is like asking
them to do something terrible, but keep giving them responsibilities and it
will make them feel accomplished and unstoppable just like adults.
Each time they do things on their own without having to be
reminded give them praise. Make sure
that they understand, they are expected to act responsible, and if they do not
there are consequences. Not
punishments! But if they don’t feed
their hamster or puppy there are major consequences. Responsibility is essential in our modern day
society, yet so many people act without it.
How many people respond to difficult and unpleasant situations shows a
lack of integrity, clarity? But a responsible person is expected to act
professionally and accordingly and by acting with this level of responsibility it
establishes who they are and who they will be in the future. Just my two sense on this. I know it is
cents, but I did it again. Sense vs cents during chores.
What do you think about this?
