Now I am sure the title caught your attention, but in defense, I am not trying to be rude. I wanted to share with you my thoughts on the spoken word. As we know, a written word in a literal sense is most of the time understood based on the sentence structure. However even using punctuation for enfaces we still can take things out of context. For example “have a nice day.” Or “Have a NICE DAY!’ One can be perceived as a nice gesture while the other a dismissal.
While texting and reading emails and posting on social media, many time things can be taken way out of context. That is why I would rather speak to someone face to face to show them how I feel with body language and facial expressions. However we are not always able to do that, so we have now added in filler words to show the intention. Such as you are so funny…. Lol……….. or I just read this and I am LMBO – laughing my butt off. These little fillers help to show the emotion of what the writer is feeling, without taking the chance on any miscommunication.
With the lives we live in our modern 21st century society, communication is becoming harder and harder even though we have so many avenues to communicate. My suggestion is to live by the old golden rule, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. It is better to hold your tongue, than try to share your opinion if there is a chance that someone may take your words incorrectly. I don’t suggest staying quite all the time, especially if you feel the topic is in need of an objective opinion but be selective in what you say and remember people are very protective over their opinions. Be careful you don’t attempt to say something light heartedly and without knowing offend the other person.
There are some areas too that you need to always be extremely careful with and that is stepping over the line. Even at times when you joke, the joke may not be made appropriately. For example: When speaking to your school teachers, martial art teachers, parents, spouses etc. Always remember spoken words, are easy to speak, but hard to retract or take back. The goal of course is always think before you speak, and think twice before you write something or post something. My recommendation is wait a day or two before you respond on hot topics. You may find after a few days, the thing that bothered you will diminish in priority and may not even be of importance any longer.
I am finding more so then ever, that people are too free to speak their mind, insult others and call them names. I remember when I was young, if you said something offensive, you might end up getting punched in the nose. So we were more careful not to offend because it may have ended up in bodily harm or at least a bump or two. It may have resulted in a fist fight or a serious argument. Nowadays, the average person will think nothing of insulting another, cursing at them and calling them names, this sometimes over the most minor of issues or disagreements. I am always shocked and in awe at how easily two civil individuals can end up in a cursing match, insulting each other over a simply disagreement.
Remember, this thought – what will it all mean in a few days, or a week or a month. Will you still be annoyed at that person or angry enough to curse them out? I would guess “No.” So I highly recommending following this rule.
1) Take a breath and if you are upset – wait a day to response or post something.
2) If you are not happy with the results ask yourself “do I need to fight with this person over something so trivial or their opinion. Remember everyone has an opinion. Just like we all like different flavors of ice cream.
3) Don’t be so quick to judge until you have walked some steps in their shoes. You don’t know how they formulated their opinion. Seek to first understand.
4) Do not judge others until you know what they too are going through. Do not be angry if your opinions clash, or are different. They may have a totally valid point of view from their perspective. Maybe it is different from yours but it still may be valid.
5) Do your best to have an open mind. If you want to debate, do it nicely without any name calling or person feelings attached. If we approached things from more of an open mind point of view, then we most certainly will be more open to their thoughts too.
