Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Letting Go - for your own sake!

When I was much younger, I was on a quest to take over the world and open up Ninjutsu Schools everywhere.  At one point we had 6 schools on Long Island, West Islip, East Islip, Bayshore, Port Jefferson, Sayville and Lindenhurst.   I had one in Brewster N.Y. as well as one in Costa Rica, Puerto Rico and Bermuda.  It was incredibly busy to say the least and I was away nearly two weekends per month, just visiting my schools.  My life of course changed when my daughter was born.  I no longer wanted to be away from her, so I changed my mindset and goals.  Through the quest for world domination I learned something very special about the law of detachment. 

As in any relationship - one of my schools, the only one with a partnership started to have some issues due to differences of opinion.  I wanted to move full force straight ahead and the student who ran my school was on a different level then I. I worked harder and it seemed I cared more about his future then he did or that was my observation at the time.  In any event, I decided to close the school and relieve myself of the stress and focus on the other locations, which I had full control of.  Well to say the least the relationship went downhill real fast and the student and I didn't speak for many years.  This bothered me, because in my eyes, I believed I did nothing but help this individual.  I later would realize, perception is reality for each person.  I am also sure he saw it differently.  To cut to the chase, he and I are now sociable and friendly and he apologized and gave me credit for helping teach him all that I did. He is a quite successful school owner now.  I am proud of him and that I was a part of his upbringing.  

In any event, due to the stress I took a trip to train with Steven Seagal - take shihan, mega movie star and martial art icon.  While at the seminar during a question and answer section, I raised my hand to get some clarity on why this happened with my student and said "Sensei, I was wondering."  Before I could finish my sentence,  he looked at me with the Seagal stare and said, "let it go, allie."  I was shocked and he moved on to the next person.  I thought to myself, either this guy is a mind reader or he is pulling one of the best parlor tricks ever. How easy would it be for someone to say that to any question asked.  I was smarter, than to let that happen to me. So I raised my hand again and said "sensei what do you do if."  He cut me off again by waiving his hand and said, "Allie didn't I say - Let it go?"  I had chills run up my arms, and I do as I write this at the moment. But I couldn't give up at that.  I guess I wasn't ready to believe he was that good.  So I said "Sensei but."  He cut me off again and replied "Some students will come and go, some will leave on good terms, others will leave hating you for whatever their conscience makes them justify and feel good about themselves.  You just need to let your student go and make mistakes on his own.  I know one day he will come back around, mark my words."  

I looked at my student Frank Olmeda and we both stood there with our mouths open.  Seagal Sensei was amazing.  I was blown away.  That was the day - I realized when things happen, your frustration sometimes lies within you and your non ability to control the outcome.  If you can accept things for how they are, then your life will be filled with so much peace.  If you are doing bad things, you can correct your behavior, if you are not doing bad things, and people still do not like you, or they perceive in their own way, then you can't do anything to influence their view.  Remember you can't get frustrated at the rain, for coming out of the clouds, or the sun for creating heat.  You need to live in the moment and enjoy, life and breath.  Just let it go.........This is not as easy as it sounds, it takes work.  I am still working on it after all these years. I highly recommend, working at it.  It will create a life of bliss for you.

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