Become a Black Belt in Parenting

Become a Black Belt in Parenting

You may think, from this title, I am talking about getting parents enrolled in a martial art program.  While this would be one goal, what I am talking about is totally opposite.  In continuation of my latest article “Reputation is 85% of your success.”  I speak about living up to your promises.  For example as a martial art school owner I help a student to get in shape and lose weight.  But if I don’t really follow up on them as they are training inquiring about their diet, their daily practice and try to continually redirect and reinforce a lifestyle which is conducive to losing weight and getting in shape, then I am falling short of my responsibilities.  My goal is to treat each and every student as individuals.  I know how hard that can be, but the harder we work at it, the better off all of us will be.

So in regards to the  principle of follow up and follow through who is a part of your team.  I only see most of my students 2-3 hours per week.  In only three hours I can’t do it all.  I always do my best to create a team, between, the student, the parents and my instructors.  It is my goal to get the parents on board and ask them to become an active part of their child’s martial arts experience.  If I am not doing my job as strenuous as it may be, then eventually I will fail.  The same goes for parenting.  

I will give you an example: Just recently one of my Black Belt Youth students decided to quit.  I had just recently had a conversation and talked to him about his goals and he told me he was excited to continue and take his training to the next level.

Within a week, his dad called and told me his son no longer wanted to train.  I was surprised but not shocked.  The reason why I had the conversation was I could see he was demotivated. When I pressed for a reason, the dad said “he is bored and feels he is not progressing, he is doing the same thing over and over.”  You may have had a conversation like this in the past with your child too.  I then explained how repetition is everything and we must continue to perfect the spirit and become great at what we do before moving on.  

He said, “well, I am not going to force him, it is his decision.”  I then said “well, if that were the case he would be doing anything he wanted right?”  The dad then replied “Well, it is his decision and the conversation was over.”  Now let me go a bit back in time, nearly two years ago, this same dad helped his son through his black belt test physical preparing by walking and running with his son.  The dad lost 60 pounds.  He was so thankful he even bought as a gift a scale for my school, hoping other dads would do the same thing.  Wow in only two years, he forgot, it takes effort and time, he needed to be part of the equation and encourage his child not to make a silly decision that he would regret in the future. 

Again, what I am speaking about here is setting up yourself for success.  The goal is to build a team, to hold you the parents and your child accountable.  To explain fully how they are responsible as well.  It is not just our job at the martial arts school, or the school teachers job to make that student smart, it is the parents job as well.  It is the same analogy – when a parent blames a public school teacher because their child is failing.  Truly a teacher can be part of the equation, but if the teacher is failing to teach do we sit back and allow our children to become failures.  

Of course not!.  It is our duty to always oversee the progress of our children, the bottom line is they are our children.  I know my daughter is my sole responsibility, if she fails, I have no one to blame but myself.  So isn’t it important for us to impart this wisdom on the parents in our school or for us as parents to hold ourselves accountable?  Do your best to educate and communicate with your child,  if a child succeeds, it is a Team effort, the teachers, the child as the student and the parent as the motivating force behind the child’s growth. 

Take the time to meet on a regular basis with each and every teacher.  Take the time to set goals with the teachers, and your child and then as a family unit.  Try to set mini goals and monitor the progress.  Develop a repoire in which all members of the team on the same page and work toward achieving the goals desired and beyond.  It is essential for us to put that time an effort forward as as parents and coaches and teachers.  If we don’t plan, we might as well plan to fail.