Wise Words from My MOM!
If you can’t say something- nice why bother saying anything at all
I
often wonder how celebrities don’t end up like that old movie with Michael
Douglas “Falling down.” If you ever saw
this movie, a normal guy with a family, due to stress, and a bad home life,
just loses control. I am not a
celebrity but I do know what it is like to be in the public eye, and to be
judged by others. Not just celebrities
but anyone of any notoriety or fame has to live with being judged by the public. I know when we look at public figures, we can
easily say they signed up for that job, but in no way can you imagine how
hurtful it is to be continually talked about in a negative way. There are entire networks and media outlets
set up just to put people down. I see it
now with our current administration of the President of the United States. It really doesn’t matter whether you like the
current president or not, no matter what you read, has a negative slant on
it.
While I do believe whether you
chose it or not, being looked up to due to a specific type of career, such as
movie stars, Rock stars, sports figures, politicians, clergy, etc. does thrust
upon you a specific amount of responsibility to do the right thing. This in itself may be a life struggle, a
sports figure may be a great baseball player or swimmer, but this doesn’t mean
they are of great moral character. When
in fact certain types of celebrity jobs puts them in very difficult situations,
if they do not have the self-discipline, then they may not be able to fight off
specific temptations.
One thing that is very difficult
is following the old rule “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say something
at all.” In our society the internet has
become a major life changing tool, but I also realize people are becoming
disconnected, and desensitized to the human element. Texting is becoming easier then talking, group
chats are easier than getting together with friends in person, etc. In the world we live today, there are those
individuals who are out there with a ton to say with no experience, knowledge
or know how to even have any authority to speak on the specific topic. The reality is, select people are going to
always say negative and hurtful things to others. If this assumption is correct, can we accept
the fact that this is a part of life, the world we live in and we just either
deal with it or not.
I say - the more we realize it is
going on, we can take a positive step to keep ourselves away from it and purge
ourselves from the negativity. The more
we recognize the negativity, the more we can work to better ourselves and not
become a part of it. Imagine the
television, radio or newspapers without negative news, it would be non
existent. What I can’t understand is how
people want to read the negative news, when after watching it, you are filled
with hurtful information. I understand
the typical response to this may be, I want to be aware of what is going on in
the world around me. Then maybe we
should start off by limiting our interaction with negativity and keeping it to
the bare minimum and pump our lives full of happy thoughts.
If you feel you have to be up to
date on the gloom and doom - then at least limit what junk you take in to your
mind. Make it your focus to find good
news, happy thoughts and fill your life with that. Imagine you live a few doors down from someone
who is a terrible person for whatever reason.
If you don’t know about it, it doesn’t affect you one bit. I am sure that is actually the reality for all
of us. When you become aware of it, it
will scare you, hurt you and consume your thoughts. The question is of course, is it necessary
for you to know about it. In a case of a
pedophile, then of course you need to know, but if it is someone who is no
direct threat to you, just knowing may cause you stress and strife. So my thought is, why bother. It is your choice what you put into your
brain and heart, chose wisely.
Recently I spoke to a parent in
my dojo. All they could do was tell me what they felt I was doing wrong. They were so focused on the negative, they
never even mentioned the positive. They
focused on little things that bothered them and that they felt needed to be
fixed. While I thought their comments were petty and even at times outlandish I
listened. When I tried to speak, they
did nothing but interrupt me and tell me how I was wrong or didn’t
understand. I went home after our
meeting with a happy heart, knowing that I tried to communicate with that
person. However, I knew deep down inside, when you are dealing with someone who
is looking to find flaws in everything you do, then there is no changing that
situation. There is no way you are going
to get them to see the good things. I
sometimes just don’t understand why people are so unhappy and I can’t believe
truthfully they want to carry around such toxin and poison all day long. I don’t understand how people could want to
be happy. I believe the reality is they
don’t, yet they have become so pessimistic, that they have to always find the
cracks in the mirror. They stare so
deeply into the mirror looking to find the cracks that they aren’t even focused
on how beautiful what they are seeing really is.
I will give you a perfect
example: I have many video’s on
Youtube.com, some are from demonstrations while others are copies of our
commercials and introduction video’s. Check them out on YouTube at L.I.Ninjutsu. While there are a host of
people who say very positive and really nice things, there are those people who
don’t know me, who go on to say really hurtful things. I found myself driven to the site on a
nightly basis to see if anyone wrote something nice or negative about me. When I would see a positive comment, it would
make me feel good. When I saw a
negative comment it would make me feel bad.
Over the years I have trained myself to ignore and take for granted what
negative people say, but nevertheless it was still hurtful. I realize that even though I told myself this,
I still was a bit hurt by it. Just
recently I decided to disable the function of accepting comments. Now each and every night I feel compelled to
look on the site, I realize that there are no negative comments due to it being
disabled. I look back and ask myself,
why would I, want to deal with negativity if I had the choice. I was in control
of my outcome. It was almost as if I was
searching for and desiring pain. I took
that section of annoyance and hurt and removed it from my life with a simple
click of a button. Years ago, my Ex -wife had breast
cancer. Of course you can imagine this
being a very trying and upsetting time.
After all of her surgeries she had to undergo radiation and
chemotherapy, when I sat along her during the treatments we would watch
comedies. Sometimes we would laugh so
hard our stomachs would hurt. It was
very difficult to feel sad, or worry or feel sorry for ourselves while we were
laughing. We chose to be happy, rather than
watch something that made us sad. This
was a very smart move, because it helped with making the time go by and
thoughts of fear and negativity.
I am sure somehow, some way the
same negative individuals will find a way to say mean and hurtful things and
find me, but at least I have limited it, making my life a happier place. You can chose to view, read and hear things
that are either positive or negative. Of
course you may not be able to filter out all the negativity but limiting it and
replacing it with more positive things,
can due nothing more then make your life a happier place. Always remember the choice is yours. How you
decide to spend your time is totally up to you. Live your life and find your
gateway to happiness.
Thank you so much for posting this article.Throughout my life I have seen and experienced so much of what you wrote about and wondered why is there SO much division in the world and why is it so magnified and I have come to the conclusion that every thing is coming to a head so to speak between the forces of good and evil. I believe like the scientists who set the doomsday clock at two minutes to midnight, that as the Bible predicted we are living in the end times or last days. We see it every day natural disasters, wars, crimes, violence, political and economical collapse etc. I believe Satan knows his time is short and he is doing everything he can to corrupt the people of this world to destroy ourselves and each other and every living plant and animal. Some would argue that there is no devil I disagree I see him in the eyes of evil people everyday who are filled with bitterness, anger, resentment, hatred, and even murder in their heart. I like what you said about controlling your emotions by controlling what you see and listen too.Makes a lot of sense. I have noticed if my wife and I watch scary movies we become anxious and nervous, if we watch happy movies we seem more relaxed and happy, and when she watches soap operas where every body is nervous, defensive, antagonistic, argumentative, vindictive,and just down right hateful to one another she starts to behave that way. As a result of your article I am going to reexamine what I view and share on Facebook I in the past have viewed and shared things that infuriated me and made me want to do evil things to people I haven't even met just because I saw something about them on Facebook!!!! By reading your article I realize now that if I simply 'unlike' certain pages I can avoid all that mess. Thank you again Allie and God bless.
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